Are We Sure SPF Is K-Fed's Kid?

Dear SPF,

When you're old enough to talk (I hope your mom and your manny and your doting grandmother are verbally stimulating you), I think you should ask for a DNA test. You are way too cute to be the spawn of K-Fed. Everyone thought your mom telling David Letterman that your new baby sister or brother wasn't his was a funny and witty joke. Maybe she's wishing now that it was true.

You also should probably think about putting paper in your mouth. Especially since your mom doesn't seem to notice and/or care. But I do.

Love,
La