If I were CaCee Cobb

First of all, I'd change the spelling of my name to something more normal. CaCee, we all know you're red...there's no reason to flaunt it.

Second, I'd make a pro/con list before I chose sides between Nick and Jessica. I would feel the need to be responsible and would never make a heat of the moment decision that could, essentially, affect the rest of my life.

So, let's see:

NICK:

Pros: (1) H-O-T (2) practically single (3) potential to have a hot, but not too hot, career (and friends) (4) handy around the house (5) likes to watch television (6) might someday know the mayor of Cincinnati (7) is older (8) still in the house (9) hates Joe Simpson

Cons: (1) still technically married to "best friend" (2) kind of cheap (3) has a proclivity for strippers and college age females (4) fame draws from being a member of 98 Degrees and being Jessica Simpson's husband (5) openly belittled and was annoyed by my presence on national television

JESSICA:

Pros: (1) um, LBH, she's Jessica Simpson (2) BMW, Rolex...and that might just be the beginning (3) loves to shop (4) loves to party (5) accesss to the bad boys in Hollywood (6) great wardrobe to share (size differential can be ignored for now) (7) Red Carpet possibilities (8) on the rebound so paparazzi and attention will abound

Cons: (1) the rest of the Simpsons (2) having to listen to her all the time (3) having to hang out with her all the time (4) having to drive her around all the time (5) having to wonder "what if I picked Nick's side" all the time (6) having to make her feel better all the time (7) having to explain things to her all the time (8) overcoming the "personal assistant" title and tryin to get someone to coin the term "Jessica's equally fun, pretty, `talented,' partner in crime."