I Hate Heidi.

And The Hills has only been on for two seconds. I am going to liveblog this one, for the first time.

1. I really hate Natasha Bedingfield.
2. LC: when you answer the phone, you need to respond in words that are more than one syllable.
3. Blane. Ew.
4. Audrina is the receptionist. She should not leave the receptionist's post. What if the phone rings?
5. Overacting. Overacting. Overacting. This is a reality show. Stop it! Especially you, Brian ("Jordan's friend").
6. Note: next time I go to Fashion Week, be sure to wear clothes by the designer whose show I am attending.
7. Heidi's dream job is being some PR guy's bitch? Stuffing envelopes? Getting sandwiches? Now we all know this is not going to last long, don't we? I mean, we're setting her up for failure. And I love it.
8. Repeat: School's not right for everyone. Right. Not for stupid, unmotivated, underachievers who cannot utter a sentence without whining and/or incorporating the word "like."
9. Haha, it looks like they put Lauren on JetBlue. Cheapskates!
10. Brett must be really important. He has "another assistant."
11. Heidi: don't tell your boss that you are nervous. What are you nervous about? Is your job hard? Um, no.
12. Sink or swim, Heidi! Yes! And did you really think it was part time?
13. Is FIDM a real school? Apparently so. But it's a dotcom, not a dotedu...interesting.
14. Poor Lauren doesn't even get to go to a fashion show! But Anna Wintour does!
15. Bad germiness to sit on the toilet and talk on the phone. Gross. But, it IS Heidi. Side note: I hope she's not stealing the show from LC.
16. Where's Whitney (possibly more vapid than Heidi, though I'm not ready to make that determination this early in the season)?
17. OMG why is Heidi harping on the job being full-time? What is there not to understand?? I am going to kill her.
18. I hate it when people wear old school rock band t-shirts when they surely have no interest in the band. I really can't see Audrina rocking out to AC/DC.
19. Brian likes boys. I've thought it since the beginning.
20. "I always feel bad for you because whenever we do something you always have to work." Wwwwaaaahhhhh.
21. Oh, door closes, gate closes...what does that mean?! Did Audrina and Brian do it?
22. Heidi, lay in bed all day. Don't go to work. Quit. Listen to Jordan. He knows.
23. Whoa whoa whoa. Jason! We were expecting it, but still a nice surprise!
24. Heidi knows how to use Outlook! 9:00 start work. 6:00 finish work.
25. Heidi can't go to Vegas. Heidi can't go to Vegas!