So Not Unwritten.

1. Why doesn’t Jason call Lauren’s cell phone? We know he has the number.
2. It is my opinion that Heidi could never make it as a consultant; aside from her obvious shortfallings (she's stupid, she's lazy, she dropped out of school), she is incapable of multitasking.
3. Lauren is putting on makeup and picking out clothes...like we don’t know what she is getting ready for. What's with the pearl necklace all the time? And, ps, when did she become Lauren and not LC?
4. Whitney is so scripted—like really? You don’t know who LC’s boyfriend is? You don’t watch Laguna? Whitney also doesn’t speak, she just makes agree/disagree noises.
5. Ha! Heidi can’t go to Vegas.
6. Blaine. OMG. Can we get someone more stiff and obviously uncomfortable and fake? “I need you to make some copies.” How many? Collated? Stapled? Whitney, ask questions!
7. Like they would just let some random scruffy guy who says he is there looking for Lauren Conrad walk into the office—much less tell him exactly where to find her. Oh, wait. He has cameras following him.
8. Says Lauren, “Do we get lunch breaks?” So much for making fun of Heidi for being excited about getting one—you don’t even know if you have one!
9. Dido’s interest rating is going to go way high on iTunes this week.
10. Why is it so hard to believe that Lauren doesn’t like salmon, Jason? Does it really necessitate an incredulous “Are you kidding me??” And, nice cute little "I went fishing with my Dad" story, LC.
11. I love how the songs, more than usual, are telling us the story.
12. What kind of name is Elodie?
13. Wwwaahhhh, Heidi, your job isn’t fun. Listen to Elodie: You need to pay your dues. You can't just go to clubs and get paid.
14. Eek, what’s with Whitney’s hair?
15. Sage insight from Whitney: "Sometimes there are people you just don’t ever get over. " Yeah, at the age of 19.
16. Does anyone outside of LA have a sidekick?
17. Heidi, Brent is not the person who helps you figure out your phone.
18. Last week Heidi took her purse with her everywhere. This time she leaves it just sitting on her desk?
19. The drink, Heidi! How did you forget to get Brent's drink?! He wanted "that green thing" for goodness sake. And how can you not handle this job? Why is it so hard for you?! What is so hard about getting someone’s lunch and ordering a label maker? For the love.
20. What a luxe life Jason and LC have—getting to go to a 5:45 movie. Poor Heidi is at work til 6:00 (per her Outlook calendar). And so is Audrina.
21. Jason has a Range Rover now? Every time he is behind the wheel it’s a new car.
22. NO KISSING!!! Ugh. That made my stomach hurt for her. This cannot lead to anything good. And, yes, it is unforgivable that you forgave him! Listen to the soundtrack to your life!
23. Note about overdrive.mtv.com—how can Heidi give a tour of Bolthouse when she has no idea about where anything is??
24. And I know this is what you were waiting for.