Hello, is it me you're looking for?

So I'm sitting in a meeting with a vendor this morning, listening to two men try to bamboozle me into thinking their product is the best product to do the work I am supposed to do (and for those of you who are quick to say I do not do work, I say this: Cram it.) when I had a moment of complete recognition. As the dude was talking about importing and exporting pertinent data I turned to a colleague and said, "OMG, he looks like Lionel Richie." She burst out laughing. Not such an endearing move coming from the kids sitting in the back row.

So while I sat there and asked well thought out and well timed questions throughout the presentation (to which, at one point, my boss leans over and says he's created a monster--yes, I was that girl), the questions I really wanted to ask him could not be asked.

Like:

1. Why haven't you gotten Nicole help?
2. Do you like her better fat or skinny?
3. Are you happy with your decision to adopt her?
4. Do you like Paris? What do you think of their falling out?
5. Did you think your video for "Hello" was as creepy as everyone else did? And, on a related note, how did you feel about the Starburst spoof of it?
6. Do you love "Dancing on the Ceiling" as much as I do?
7. Are you and DJ AM bff? How do you feel about his on again off again relationship with Nicole?
8. Did you encourage Nicole to start a singing career?

Instead, I asked questions like, "Does the system automatically archive documents and, if so, how many prior documents does it keep and where are they stored?"