She could not possibly get any dumber.

Not even if she tried, but she won’t try, because she’s lazy.

Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. Where to begin?

Apparently, Lindsay’s latest goal in life is to visit the troops in Iraq. (Note: do you think they want to see her?). She equates herself to Marilyn Monroe, saying, “I wanted to do what Marilyn Monroe did (during the Korean War), when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops all by herself.” You and Paris, Lindsay, have more in common than you’d care to admit. But we all see it.

She goes on to say that she has always aspired to be a pin-up. Ew. You’re 20 years old. Your mission in life should not be to be a sex object, especially if you’re such a great actress who is destined to win an Oscar and, thus, have other “talents” which you can exploit. Instead of being exploited yourself.

Fear not, faithful readers. While we realize the dangerous nature of such a trip, our fearless pal Lindsay is not in the least concerned. She’s going to take shooting lessons before she goes (claiming she has a dark side). Because you know she’s going to be in Iraq, wearing a cute Prada dress and some Jimmy Choos and be all bedecked in Chopard and there’s going to be an attack…but she’ll be prepared with an M-16 and aim and shoot those bastards who come after her. She ain’t afraid.

She also tells reporters "things that aren't true … just because it's fun." Apparently, Ms. Lindsay Morgan Lohan has some warped ideas about what is fun. Iraq = fun. Lying to the media so that you get unwanted attention, essentially fueling the fire under your own ass = fun.