Who is writing my horoscope?

Aries March 21 - April 19
For Friday, August 11 -Trends, fashion and pop culture are a valid part of your life, but if given too much priority in your life, they could divert time and money that could be better spent elsewhere. Focus your efforts and thoughts on things that are permanent. The latest fads are good for a bit of entertainment and that's about it. Your morals and your personal philosophy need attention ... you need to swing the pendulum back in the direction of substance and away from style.

"You don't know me, stupid horoscope writer. You don't know about my fine morals (sometimes too fine) and my investing prowess," she says, as she leaves for a girls' spa weekend with a bag full of gossip magazines to read in the car.

I mean, if you can't make fun of your extremely multi-faceted self...