Monday, January 09, 2006

All she wants to do...

...is kick him in the ball[s].

Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong are, in the immortal words of Kristin Cavallari, dunzo.

Our good friend at E! Ted Casablanca broke the news today, but word was on the [Gray] street two weeks ago, when Jenni let the cat out of the bag. Way to scoop Ted, Jenni.

Per Ted (and the awesome rumor mill), Lance dumped his paramour right before Christmas. Apparently, Lancey has broken up with Sheryl before, and not just once. Um, hasn't she read He's Just Not That Into You? One of the cardinal rules, ladies (and gents) is: Never go back to someone who has rejected you in the past. (Again, peanut gallery, please keep your comments to yourself). She should've known better.

Not to mention the fact that he left a wife and children for her, too. So, the relationship never got off to a good start. Now that his children are sufficiently attached to their would've been stepmom, he pulls the plug. Sweet, Lance. Ruin some more lives.

Ok, so he's a great athlete. And he is a cancer survivor. But so are a lot of people. Come on Sheryl, you can do better. Now she's going to be all morose and depressed. Can't wait for the album that this inspires.

5 comments:

Jenni said...

i'm going to preface this by saying i watch a lot of lifetime. and if i've learned anything from lifetime, it's this:

IF HE CHEATS ON HIS WIFE OF 3 YEARS AND LEAVES HIS THREE YOUNG CHILDREN TO BE WITH YOU, HE'S GOING TO LEAVE YOU TOO, EVENTUALLY.

dunzo.

armstrong out.

lala said...

lesson #2: if you've just been raped, please don't shower.

Jenni said...

will this bring a new cover of "my favorite mistake"? zero percent chance.

Sara said...

The Bible has yet to report on this, therefore it is not fact.

On a random note, Bordeeen and I's favorite artist, Phil Collins, is making his debut on Broadway in Tarzan the Musical in May. Guess where we'll be opening night?

YOU'LL BE IN MY HEART!

Larissa said...

can't say i'm shocked!