DJ Slit My Wrists.

That's what my brother calls me. Now, I haven't ever thought my music taste was soooo awful. But apparently, it is.

It's so bad that, if he is ever in the car with me, he brings his own iPod so as not to have to listen to the music that resonates from mine. I didn't really think it was so bad until:

1. I sent a mix CD to my good friend Abu Shekha and she called immediately after receiving it. The conversation went something like this:
   AS: Dude, did you feel better after making that?
   La: What are you talking about?
   AS: Seriously, that must have been some serious therapy.
   La: Oh, wow...I see what you mean.
   (Don't worry, friends, I will post a "How to Make A Therapy Mix" blog sometime in the near future. It is an art.)
2. I was on a roadtrip with my favorite resident of Virginia Beach a few weeks ago (we were on our way to Recently Married Friend's wedding) and we were listening to the pod on shuffle. She commented before I even admitted to the nickname.

So I'm sitting here supposedly doing "work," but really I'm listening to music and waiting for McDreamy. These lyrics are horrible (but, conversely, absolutely fantastic). They really are depressing and must contribute to myriad cases of angst and cynicism. I now know why I have been given this moniker. Seriously. I guess it's safe to say that if you ever want a pick me up, don't ask me to make you a CD or to recommend favorites. Here are just a few examples of some lyrics, from a random mix of songs.

Disclaimer: I will not name the songs or the artists because that will just lead to ridicule and embarrassment. If you're so inclined and so bored, I know you will google them, anyway. Don't hold my music selections against me. I'm cool. Really. Some of you closet bad/depressing music lovers will be able to pick them out, though. Don't try to front like you don't know who you are.

• "I saw the end before it began."
• "And so I am a stranger but especially today, as I get sad and lonely and you get your way."
• "And hopefulness is like a drug, it makes a girl believe in love."
• "I'll close my eyes, then I won't see the love you don't feel when you're holding me."
• "It's funny what you know, but still go on pretending, with no good evidence you'll ever see that happy ending."
• "Time is leaving us behind, another week has passed and still I haven't laughed yet."
• "They're all watching us now, they think we're falling in love, they'll never believe we're just friends."
• "So afraid to love you, more afraid to lose, clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose."

Geez, and that's really just a random sampling. Good thing I have songs like "I'm Real" (shout out to J.Lo in her prime and my friends (you know who you are) who really heart this song) and some Britney on there to counteract the [mania inducing] other songs. This, I realize, does not counteract the affirmation that I enjoy bad music.

To undamper this reading experience, I'll end with some of my favorite lyrics. I've said it before, and I obviously have no shame in saying it again. Courtesy of Lil' Kim (can we take a moment, please, to recognize that the apostrophe in her name is completely misplaced):

I had you up early in the mo'nin' moanin'.

Now, seriously, who but Kim and Fi'ty could make two obviously different words sound the same (by merely omitting some letters) and pack them with so much meaning? Brilliant.