Dealbreakers.

We all have them, whether we want to admit it or not. Some of us (ahem) can blame our never ending visit to singledom on such "excuses." Some may call us overly picky, say we're not willing to overlook small flaws and give people the chance(s) they deserve. Others (ie ourselves) may say that we have a right to be this picky. In reality, it's probably best to have a happy medium. But how do you go about finding it?

This article couldn't have come at a better time. (It's funny because yesterday, Bandit and I spent a good portion of the day emailing back and forth about things we liked and disliked in the opposite sex. I suggested we compile [an admittedly predominantly materialistic] list so that future generations could use it as a venerated reference tool.)

The author calls this era in dating "the moment in time when the pickiness gene became dominant." I beg to differ. I've always been "picky," though, through the years, I've come to accept things that shouldn't be accepted and use as dealbreakers silly things. But the author makes good points--while it seems like we are being "picky," what we're really doing is using the silly excuse to overpower the bigger issues. "Maybe, on some essential level, the [person] just didn't do it for you, because if [s/he] had, [insert dealbreaker here] would have been the [quality] of the [person] you loved."

"In a world of infinite possibilities, the notion of falling in love, of finding The One, seems itself ... old-fashioned. Once upon a time, The One would've lived in your village or another one like it. Now, she could be this sweet girl across from you at the dinner table, but she could also be someone you haven't yet met. What if there's another woman somewhere in the world, like this girl, but better?" Yeah, what if? You always wonder, don't you? It's natural. I guess, of course, unless you know that you are already with The One and are willing to overlook what would have, at another time and with another person, been dealbreakers.

You buy an iPod mini after months of contemplating. Days later, you're with a friend who has the 60 GB iPod. It's not pink like your mini, but it's still damn cool. It's bigger. And better. And worth more. And has so much more potential. You realize that, had you waited, something bigger and better would have been out there. You've already gotten used to the iPod you bought, though, and you have a connection with it. But 60 GB...is it worth trading up? Or should you just be happy with what you have? They're different enough to make note of the difference but are they different enough to potentially turn your world upside down (if only for a fleeting moment)?

I guess the underlying lesson here is this: essentially, if you have a "dealbreaker" that is petty and immature, the person you are breaking the deal with is not your soulmate. I think. And if someone is breaking up with you because you like to listen to After Hours with Glenn Hollis or because you don't know how to parallel park or you are addicted to reality television then, well, you don't want them, anyway.