Worst. Movie. Ever. (?)

Conversation at Girls' Night Dinner last night was as varied as usual. Somehow, Maryland friend started telling us about a recent trip to Blockbuster, where she and her husband were astounded beyond belief to find this movie on the shelves. Maryland said she picked it up and then just couldn't believe it. She started laughing hysterically, and her husband told her to put it down, in case there were cameras watching them pick up such a horrible, horrible idea for a movie.

A movie with Tori Spelling, Gary Coleman, and William Shatner? What are the odds??


Here's a list:

1. Who thought that bastardizing a classic with these actors would be a good idea? I mean, put Mickey Mouse in it, that's fine. That's obviously catering to a certain demographic. But Donna Martin? Spock?** And Arnold? Are you serious?
2. What do you think Tori said when she read the script (or, even better, had someone read it to her)? "Wow, this looks great! Maybe even better than Mother, May I Sleep With Danger ? Sign me up, oh great agent of mine!"
3. There were obvi major negotiations to get the other stars to sign on for this movie. I bet the hold out was little Gary (aside: is Todd Bridges still alive? I said yes, and that I thought he was on Skating with Celebrities. I'm too lazy to look.) who, when told "Tori Spelling and William Shatner are already signed" was like "Hells yeah, dawg."
4. Ok, so let's just say it's fine that this was a tv movie with a Christmas theme. This means that, theoretically and logically, it can only play during (at most) two months of the year. And, LBH, only ABC Family, Lifetime and possibly WE would show it. Do they really think anyone would rent this? Or buy it? Why waste the money or the Blockbuster shelf space. I suggested that next time, Maryland should take it up to the front desk and ask if she could get a tally of how many times it had been rented. My guess: zero.

And, to end on the best note possible, from Maryland's email this morning (where she kindly gave us the name and IMDB site):

"Please be sure to read about the "Star Trek teleporter effect" featured in this straight-to-video motion picture."

** Uncle Danny was kind enough to inform me that I meant to say Captain Kirk. Thank God I'm not as nerdly as I thought...