Plastic Surgery Scare? Or Scary Plastic Surgery?

Star Jones is just weird. She looks like an alien now that she's lost 150 lb. She looked better "fat."

While not written, I don't believe, as a comedy piece, this article made me laugh out loud on several occasions.

1. "During the procedure, Jones Reynolds's hemoglobin levels – the proteins found in red blood cells that are responsible for distributing oxygen in the body – dropped drastically..." Love how people.com defined hemoglobin for us...like a majority of the readers care and/or can comprehend. They could've left it at "hemoglobin levels" and saved themselves some words from their word count.
2. "While it's unlikely that Jones Reynolds's life was in imminent danger, her hemoglobin did drop to "levels low enough to worry about," says a source. " This is not news. Unless she died or came close to it, who cares? Oh, that belies the question: If she did die or come close to it, does she actually have a fan base who would care?
3. "'I just spoke to Star and she was eating Skittles and driving down Wilshire Boulevard,' The View spokesperson Karl Nilsson, told PEOPLE. " Hahahahaha, she was eating Skittles. How does that even come up in conversation. "Hey, Karl, it's Star. Yeah, I'm driving down Wilshire, pounding some Skittles. All is well."
4. "'The (lift) was successful, and she said she was looking forward to coming back next week,'" said Barbara Walters." I wonder what word she used instead of lift. Why is Barbara even talking about this? And, if she was so near death, how's she going to work? That is dedication (to a show that, LBH, lots of people do not watch. I hate Elizabeth Hasselbeck.).
5. "Trying to get in a workout before flying out from New York (where they both live) to see his wife the day of her surgery, Reynolds, 35, fell at his gym and required stitches on two cuts." HAHAHAHAHA. Maybe it wasn't an accident...
6. "when you lose a significant amount of weight," says a source close to Jones Reynolds, referring to her recent 150-lb. loss, "things aren't in the same place they once were." Ew.